This post is about the process Cathy’s mom, Lynn DeBuono, went through upon learning her daughter is a lesbian. Cathy’s story is in the previous post.
People need to hear LGBTQ coming out stories from those coming out, and they need to hear the stories of their families, especially their parents.
Anyone who doesn’t know someone who is gay often sees the issue in the abstract. Abstraction breeds indifference and allows those who hate to exist. Real people telling their stories humanizes the issue.
Please watch the whole video. It’s 18 minutes long, but again, you won’t feel like it’s that long.
“…apparently, and this is what I’m seeing over time and experience is, it’s the same-sex parent, if someone’s going to have a problem with it, it’s more than likely the same-sex parent that has the problem. I don’t really have an answer for why, but that seems to be [typical]…” — Cathy DeBuono
She and her mom talk about her dad. There isn’t a video with him because he passed away several years ago from lung cancer. He and Lynn had a very happy marriage, something we don’t see much today.
Cathy is a second-generation American. Both of her parents’ families immigrated to the U.S. from Italy. She was raised Roman Catholic, but no longer practices an organized religion. Lynn stopped attending church because they wouldn’t accept her daughter.
Another thing gay people may face is being disowned or kicked out because of ignorance and intolerance, especially if it’s religious. Fortunately, over 90% of parents come around to accept their children for who they are and put their families back together.
It can take years to normalize relations with your family, but it’s important to keep talking and moving toward that goal. Like Lynn said, it’s okay to bring your partner home when you’re in a relationship. It’s okay to bring your friends home, too.
Don’t settle for your family not accepting you bringing your partner or friends home, or not accepting you talking about anything that might hint at you being gay. There will come a time when you can be who you are and be loved and accepted for it.
This is the book Cathy sent her mom after she found out Cathy is gay:
- The voice in the background is Cathy’s best friend, Lucia Gerbino.
- Lucia is the owner of Lucky Dog Leather, a business that grew out of Lucia making a pink leather collar for Cathy’s dog, Comet. You will often see Cathy wearing shirts from Lucky Dog Leather. If you need a belt or leather accessories, check them out!
- In this video, Cathy is wearing a Sweet t-shirt. Sweet is a lesbian vacation company with a strong environmental conservation and humanitarian mission.
- The photo is a still captured from the above video.
Please post any thoughts or questions in the comments.